Artist Fred Stern was one of those grade school landscapers who made himself and everybody else in class very happy by obsessively adding rainbow flair to anything he came into contact with. The Rainbow Boy grew up into a Rainbow Man and everybody was willing to overlook his obvious God complex because Fred uses ginormous water pumps and, uh, the SUN ITSELF to create city-spanning rainbows. Rainbow flair of that magnitude makes everyone super happy. But no, you can't hire him for your Baby Shower. Fred reserves his rainbows for those who need them most. Yes, I'm talking about children with cancer and the camps they go to in the summer.

For example, look at what the Rainbow Maker did for Camp Quality over at the right there.

Yay! Look at what you can do at home sans Godzilla-sized water pump:

The pic comes via the Wooster Collective, a blog devoted to street art and rainbows and things that typically, at least in the art world, have the life span of a fruit fly. So Elfo's Rainbow might not be 20,000 ft. like Fred's, but it can be yours! Once we determine just what hair product that can of spritzer is.

• link:// Wooster Collective

Maybe it's the bald eagle superimposed on the American flag, itself superimposed on Laura Bush (who's naturally dressed as Lady Liberty), but some places just scream "Buy Your 4th of July Fireworks Here!" And I do, I really do because I'm a sucker for over-the-top patriotism and the awesome hair that normally comes with it. Other places, though -- the ones with concerning names and homicidal mascots -- make me scream, then run for cover. Watch out for these ... Places You Probably Want to Avoid Buying Explosives From This Independence Day:

• Black Market Fireworks

In case you had any doubts -- YES our fireworks are illegal. But lest you forget, our country was founded by outlaws and renegades! There's nothing more patriotic than buying wholesale Black Market Fireworks this 4th of July and scorching your neighbor's hedge.

• Crazy Cracker Fireworks

Yeah, maybe the name is inspired -- by a part of our collective history that doesn't exactly make me want to beam up at sparkles in the sky with cracka pride.

Hey Boss! The 4th of July is Friday, meaning the few underlings outside your sweet corner office who haven't already requested off Thursday through Friday of next week are itching to do just that and for what? To see some lousy fireworks? You were prepared to forgive them their starry-eyed sentimentalities because it's not like you can set fireworks off in the employee lounge during lunch and shoo everybody back to their cubicles afterward, keeping that streak of 80 hour work weeks going strong. BUT YES YOU CAN! With the help of Fireworks Supreme.

Bring all the heart pounding excitement of a live Fireworks show to your computer desktop with Fireworks Supreme! All the sights and sounds of a firework extravaganza! You'll ooh and ahh along with the crowd!

Now your office workers don't have to leave their computers to experience the magic of sustained independence from England. By the dawn's early light!

• related:// Creepiest Fireworks PSA Ever
• related:// Cute Kids Love America
  

There's a battle underfoot. Or should I say... under nose? Because it has to do with mustaches and how a rat pack of young gun, independent T-shirt companies are A.) defining themselves through the 'stache, and B.) vying for 'stache supremacy with a slew of combatively awesome designs.

Fuzzy-Ink's latest, the Sunstache Kid

Mustache & Friends' Batstachio

Fantastic Bonanza's Fancy Mustachio

Mustache Monster's worms

Excellent 'staches, the lot of them. But looks like Fancy Mustachio has already fallen, shaved and baby-skinned by the wayside. Out of stock!?! Who's getting scalped beneath their honker next? Only Tom Selleck knows.

• via:// Hide Your Arms

We can see why the following PSA for fireworks safety was banned from daytime viewing. It's about as far away from a Morning Hug as you can get while still being SFW. In fact, there's a 100% chance you'll need a Morning Hug no matter what time of day it is after watching fire incarnate profess its undying love for smiling children.

So fire loves me kinda like Hannibal Lecter would if he could. Hot.

8. Gang Green

• From? Nebraska!
  

• Making us cry how? Alternately reenacting scenes from 'Throw Momma From the Train' and the new M. Night Shyamalan movie, 'The Happening'. What happened? "It did." What did? "IT happened. Something inexplicably weird and hopefully scary but probably, ultimately, irritatingly disappointing." Wait ... what? "JUST STOP THE TRAIN. Everybody off the F'n train."

Featured badass: Jaden Blayz

7. Queens of Pain

• From? NYC

• Making us cry how? After hearing us brag about how our boss older sis is a "Queen of Pain, so you better shut up!", they skate over and in front of everybody pinch our cheek, calling us their "wittle pwince of pain." Then they yank our shirt up and make our belly button talk.

Featured badass: Team Capt. Suzy Hotrod