Urlesque

"Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall" - The Supercut

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-27T09:00:00+00:00

Shelley Duvall was always one of those actresses whose faces I could never get out of my head, especially after she scared the bejesus out of me in The Shining. Technically, she played the victim to Jack Nicholson's villain, but her face, with that square chin and those sunken, accusatory eyes (not to mention some busted-ass teef) was, for me, the movie-star equivalent of extra-strength laxative.

Well, whaddyaknow? This supercut of Shelley Duvall introducing herself (from her show Faerie Tale Theatre) completely strips away any sense of doom she could plant in my raw stomach, instead leaving my bowels in total control and the internet an even weirder place than it was two minutes before you finished reading this.

via:// Videogum

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Five Plus Infinity Miniature Golf WINs

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-26T15:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, Sports

Miniature golf is a distinctively American pastime. It's bright, it's colorful, and it's really, really stupid. Naturally, it is always fun, drunk ~~or sober~~. Just as American: Videos of awesome putt-putts on YouTube.

If you're going to make a hole-in-one after battling a windmill, you want to the world to see. So check out some of our favorite mini-golf WINs, and try to erase the memory that balls always end up in the clown's mouth. Or is that just me?

Is this the greatest putt-putt shot of all time?

Talk about "major blockage"!

Whoa, it's the Double Rainbow guy of miniature golf:

Hit the bricks, dude:

Trey doesn't even need to get out of the stroller:

Here are two montages of superior holes-in-one:

via:// The Daily What

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Kevin Smith Can't Stop 'Sh*tting' (NSFW)

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-26T14:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, Movies, Remixes, NSFW

Noah Garfinkel of Best Week Ever streamed a documentary on Netflix called Kevin Smith: Too Fat For 40, featuring a two hour lecture from the writer/director known for his generation-defying movies like Clerks and Mallrats, as well as his diverse wardrobe, each item carefully selected from the closet of an obese tween.

Whether or not you like Smith or his movies or his attention-grabbing headlines (regarding flying and public protests, for example), hearing his use the curse word "sh*t" 200 times in a row, from one lecture, is a must-see, as edited together by Noah.

Video NSFW.

link:// Best Week Ever

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Cats Balancing Stuff on Heads

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-26T08:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, Cute, Animals

A Japanese blogger knows a good idea when s/he sees one. Cats balancing things on their heads? That's basically the vortex of the internet, where all good things go to purr. Because pictures and videos of cats balancing things on their heads is what lies at the creamy, nugget of the viralsphere. It's just that stupid, and yet equally entertaining. In other words: brilliant.

Can your cat pull off tricks like these? Do you even have a cat? I don't. Who cares? Look at how these ones balance stuff on their heads!!!

One sleepy cat balances a piece of fruit on his head:

One cat balances a cup on his head:

Four sleepy cats, balancing tangerines:

link:// Cats Balancing Stuff On Their Head
previously:// Oolong the Rabbit Balances Things on His Head
via:// Japan Probe

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Tim Pawlenty - Presidential Front-Runner or Action Hero?

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-25T16:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, News / Politics, Commercials

Former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty is almost definitely going to run for President in 2012, and he isn't wasting any time developing a strong online presence. In a promo video on YouTube that feels like a trailer for a Michael Bay big banger, Pawlenty is painted as an all-American hero, a guy whose visage and voice appears alongside Cassius Clay, Martin Luther King, George Washington, and -- of course -- astronauts.

Calling for fans to take "the courage to stand" and put "freedom first" (explain?), Pawlenty's highfalutin attitude is so reminiscent of a superhero, he might just be hiding a secret Republimobile.

Or just a Hummer, if for no other reason than to piss off Al Gore.

This type of campaign ad isn't new, of course. Check out one for Sarah Palin:

And, OMG, Eliot Spitzer FAIL:

via:// Talking Points Memo

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Models Covered in Ladybugs

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-25T15:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, Fashion, Weird, Animals, NSFW

Until now, I had two opinions of ladybugs: that they were very pretty and that Rodney Dangerfield and Jackee Harry made an awesome movie about them. So imagine my surprise (and now yours) upon watching a video of photographer Ed Zipco shooting redheaded models covered in over 200,000 live, horny ladybugs for Vice Magazine.

Seeing these models covered in live ladybugs really paves the way for buying overpriced, unnecessary things. Then again, I know nothing about fashion, but next time I see a ladybug, I'll do whatever I can to keep her from both the Vice offices and -- eek! -- vacuum tubes (you'll see what I mean in the video, after the jump).

Video not safe for the squeamish or animal rights activists, as well as NSFW language.

link:// VBS.tv

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Ikea Floor Map Designed to Confuse Customers

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-25T14:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Art / Design, Marketing

Furniture behemoth Ikea purposely designs their stores to make customers feel like they're caught in a maze, according to The Daily Mail. Even if you're just trying to find a duvet cover before getting the F out, the layout tricks you into buying "impulse purchases," like cheap mugs or that cute bathmat with the half-moons on it.

Neatorama points us to an aerial map of the store that proves, indeed, that Ikea is essentially a maze in which the customers are the mice. The "distinctive labyrinth" is, of course, a hugely successful franchise, with 283 stores in almost thirty countries.

Now check out the sophisticated layout that's worked even better for fast food giant McDonald's.

link:// Daily Mail
via:// Neatorama

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Trolls, as Explained by the Local News

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-25T10:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, Internet on TV

Finally, a local news report on trolling! If you weren't already familiar with "trolls," or anonymous name-callers who taunt victims on YouTube, blogs, and the rest of the internet, Fox 11 fills you in on the online phenomenon.

The internet, as it turns out, is filled with bullies, and they are MEAN! While they don't touch on the hub of trolldom, 4chan, Fox does provide the viewer with plenty of graphics that really explain how sad faces and insults can throw a wrench in someone's innocent YouTube update.

Nevertheless, Boxxy's in there! And Know Your Meme! And even Lord Of The Rings! So, at the very least, this story's producer got it right when it came time to decide who and what to reference, although /b/ remains, no duh, anonymous.

via:// The Internet Today

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25 Los Angeles Watchdogs

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-25T09:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, Weird, Animals

An Urlesque fan named Jon tipped us off to a video he made with his girlfriend. Basically, they went around Los Angeles and filmed a bunch of scary watchdogs.

My girlfriend Claire Hamilton and I made it during a recent trip to LA. It contains 2 beagles, 3 boxers, 7 chihuahuas, 1 collie, 5 pit bulls, 1 rottweiler, 4 terrier mixes, and 2 other kinds of mixes.

We totally appreciate Jon's video, if for no other reason than its particular flavor of weirdness. Why twenty-five dogs? Why Los Angeles? Why why why?

Dog people, you may want to sit down for this one. The video doesn't do much justice to our argument that dogs are The Best, especially when you see a torn tarp that reads, in marker, "Beware Of Pitbulls." Paging Michael Vick! (JK JK JK)

via:// Thanks for the tip, Jon!

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Keanu Addresses 'Sad Keanu' Meme

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-24T12:15:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, MemeTracker, Internet on TV

Do I wish that I didn't get my picture taken while I was eating a sandwich on the streets of New York? Yeah.

So says Keanu Reeves, who became an internet joke last summer thanks to a photo of him chewing an ol' sammie in New York City, looking miserable. Even as the Sad Keanu meme grew to exponential proportions (eventually garnering its own silly holiday), Keanu remained relatively mum on the topic, because he didn't get it or he didn't care (or, most likely, both).

Here, he lets loose -- or as "loose" as Keanu gets -- on the BBC, expressing in his own rather droll, detached way, that Sad Keanu is the price you pay for fame in the age of the internet. It's not just Who's He Dating? and Sexiest Man Alive madness anymore. Today, a movie star can eat a sandwich alone, and suddenly, anyone with a modem and a lunch break can take a photo and feed a hungry zeitgeist with something utterly ridiculous and virtually ubiquitous.

via:// HyperVocal
related:// Sad Keanu on Urlesque

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Who Will Be the Betty White of 2011? Help Us Pick!

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-24T09:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Videos, Movies, Television, Exclusives

2010 was the year of Betty White. In 2009, she chewed scenery in The Proposal and parodied her own performance in Funny Or Die. The next year, she was everywhere: starring on the sitcom Hot in Cleveland, guesting on Community and -- thanks to a popular Facebook campaign -- hosting one of the highest-rated episodes of Saturday Night Live in history. Behold the power of the internet, where Betty guzzling booze with David Letterman in celebration of her 89th birthday is currently a viral hit (and her comic book is flying off the shelves).

Now it's 2011, and there are a slew of beloved actresses who could potentially steal Betty's title this year, if Facebook users (or savvy publicists) gather in enough numbers to push them to the center of the zeitgeist, or at least to Lorne Michaels's office.

I've made a list of "women of a certain age" who have been in Hollywood long enough for you to know who they are, but not necessarily long enough to cement them a spot on Dancing With The Stars, which helped rejuvenate the careers of old broads Florence Henderson and Cloris Leachman. And take it from me, the guy who permanently tattooed one of The Golden Girls into his skin -- I know a worthy over-the-hill actress when I see one.

When you've read them all, vote for which actress you love most. In two weeks, Urlesque will count the votes and campaign for the winner to host SNL.

Jackee Harry

...is most popular for her Emmy Award-winning role on 80s sitcom 227 and in the Rodney Dangerfield vehicle Ladybugs, but she's since remained relatively out of sight (while collecting residuals from the syndicated sitcom Sister, Sister). But between launching her own brand of milkshake in Los Angeles and brilliantly sidestepping the accusation that she was wasted on Bravo's Watch What Happens: Live (p.s. she was TANKED), the busty beauty obviously deserves a primo return to the spotlight. And, P.S., there's already a Facebook campaign to get her to host Saturday Night Live. And you can make her your ringtone!
ODDS: 1:3

Lily Tomlin

...already hosted Saturday Night Live three times between 1975 and 1983, but the woman is too funny to keep off this list. A crafty writer and performer, she rivals Steve Martin in terms of versatility and intellectual prowess. Although she hasn't been on the cultural radar as of late, she is, indeed, an American treasure, and has three (1, 2, 3!) active Facebook campaigns pushing her to host the show again.
ODDS: 2:3

Blythe Danner

...plays patient Grandma Dina in the wildly successful Fockers franchise, and already hosted Saturday Night Live in 1982, but that doesn't mean she couldn't return to Studio 8H. She's won Emmy and Tony awards and has appeared in almost one hundred films. Yet she's still best known as Gwenyth Paltrow's mom, which would be okay if most people didn't resent Gwenyth Paltrow for being pretty, skinny and rich (and detailing this on her loathed lifestyle website, Goop). Oddly, here, nepotism works against Blythe.
ODDS: 7:10

Dame Judi Dench

...is the Actor's Actor. She's racked up enough awards for her performances in television and film to line her bathroom walls with gold, and she's played James Bond's boss M for fifteen years.

Unless you're Mary Poppins, a British accent like Dame Judi's doesn't much paint you as "warm" stateside. But she'd definitely use that English no-nonsense attitude to knock it out of the park on SNL.
ODDS: 3:5

Video NSFW:

Olympia Dukakis

is an Oscar winner, and has been in, like, a thousand movies (my personal favorite is as Grandma Rosie in the Look Who's Talking series). She's essentially the go-to actress for the role of the ethnically ambigious wise old woman. Problem is, she's never really clicked with audiences in any one particular role, and her first cousin, Michael, was a political dud in the 1988 elections, which -- one might argue -- dragged her down with him by street cred alone (JK that's ridiculous).

I love this woman but, let's face it, she's not Facebook campaign material (or is she?).
ODDS: 1:6

Carol Burnett

was America's sweetheart when her variety show dominated the airwaves in the 1970s. Not unlike Lucille Ball, she was a feisty redheaded fireball whose hilarious antics captured American's hearts. She was everyone's silly aunt, and with a self-titled TV staple on her résumé, and especially after her star turn on Glee, she is next in line after Betty White as America's Funny Grandma. Like Lily Tomlin, she has three Facebook campaigns (1, 2, 3!) urging her to host SNL. But Carol definitely has the edge here.
ODDS: 1:1

Phylicia Rashad

...was beautiful, inspiring and terrifying as the sexy, flavorful and often temperamental working mother Claire Huxtable on The Cosby Show. (If you were in court, you'd definitely want Huxtable on your case, and if you were her kid, YOU LISTENED GOOD.) She's since grown into a refined, well-respected actress of stage and screen, too. Unfortunately, she's probably not quite fit for the world of sketch comedy, but only because she exudes royalty, and a regal queen is not necessarily the right type of gal for slapstick humor.
ODDS: 3:8

Sally Kellerman

earned a Best Supporting Actress Oscar nomination for her portrayal of "Hot Lips" in the 1970 movie MASH. If you don't know who she is, it's okay -- she basically fell off the face of the planet before resurfacing with a brand new latex face and, er, "new career" as a jazz singer (listen on her MySpace page). I just included her on this list because she's batsh*t crazy and appears to only care about reinventing herself as Billie Holiday. Needless to say, she's never going to host Saturday Night Live. She does, however, use Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, although I think I may be the only one paying attention.
ODDS: 1,000,000:1

By now you must have a favorite. Don't you want to see her on SNL? Well whichever actress gets the most votes in our poll, Urlesque will campaign online to have on the show. And we'll ask every blogger we know to pitch in.

Which actress do you choose to be the next Betty White? Vote now!

Who Will Be The Next Betty White?
Carol Burnett	309 (48.9%)
Blythe Danner	14 (2.2%)
Dame Judi Dench	38 (6.0%)
Olympia Dukakis	34 (5.4%)
Jackee Harry	87 (13.8%)
Sally Kellerman	11 (1.7%)
Phylicia Rashad	37 (5.9%)
Lily Tomlin	102 (16.1%)

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Should Brett Favre Show You His Penis? (NSFW)

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-21T16:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Videos, Sports, NSFW

Remember when Minnesota Vikings quarterback, Super Bowl MVP, and Sports Illustrated cover boy Brett Favre, sent pics of his junk (NSFW) to a chick who leaked 'em to the net? Yeah, that whole thing was just ...not good for anyone.

But it's back, in a parody ad that mimics LeBron James's "Rise" ad for Nike. Actor Sean Carrigan plays Brett Favre so well that at first I thought Favre had an amazing sense of humor.

Just because you're famous and pics of your genitals circulate widely doesn't mean America will turn her back on you. We may forgive, but we never forget...d*ck pics, that is.

Video NSFW

LeBron James's Nike commercial, "Rise"

via:// HyperVocal

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Homemade Japanese Transformers Inexplicably Don't Win TV Contest

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-21T15:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, Weird, Art / Design, Television

These guys, dressed like a ganky-ass version of Transformers, prove that Japanese television continues to be better than anything we could broadcast over here, and that includes every Real Housewife (sorry, NeNe). Their act, for the Kasou Taishou competition, didn't garner them a passing score, but thank goodness the video made it onto the internet.

Where would the world's people be without guys who dress themselves up like tiny cars and perform them on stupid talent competitions? Stuck watching Transformers 3, that's where!

via:// Japan Probe

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Tony Danza Has Resurfaced Online, But Why Now?

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-20T16:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Videos, Art / Design, Marketing

Recently, Tony Danza has popped up in the weirdest places online. First, Best Week Ever pointed out a photo of him eating frozen yogurt with hipster actors Martin Starr and Michael Cera. Weird.

Then a video showed up on Funny Or Die, which featured the very subject of our Twitterdanza campaign finally caving to the pressure, and responding to the "Tiny Dancer" joke (you know the one: "Hold me closer, Tony Danza").

The Daily What has put all the puzzle pieces together, pointing out a new video featuring Danza, Cera, and Starr, and explaining that it's a promotional Funny Or Die exclusive for "Is This Thing On?", an exhibit at Gallery 1988 in Los Angeles.

The question, of course, is: why now? Urlesque was on The Boss's case when his A&E show Teach: Tony Danza was on the air, begging him to return to his abandoned his Twitter account. Although it took a while to respond, he finally did, but why has he waited until now, with his show off the air, to grow stubble and show up in some funny videos on the internet?

Tony Danza sings "Tiny Dancer":

Tony Danza visits Gallery 1988 with Michael Starr and Michael Cera:

via:// The Daily What
related:// Twitterdanza

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Hot Air Balloon Makes Emergency Landing

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-20T14:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, News / Politics

Unless you're afraid of heights or flying, a hot air balloon ride is considered an exhilarating, ethereal experience. Except, of course, if you have to make an emergency landing.

One hot air balloon "steered off course and missed its landing" Thursday, according to the BBC, which forced an emergency landing in the middle of Melbourne's Port Phillip Bay. None of the eleven passengers inside the balloon were injured, but the pilot is quoted as saying, "It's not an everyday occurrence, that's for sure."

via:// BBC

More from our friends around the web...

The Sexy Secret Geek Celeb Gene [UInterview]

Cutest Video Game Girl Ads [Geekosystem]

Females for Sale [Mental Floss]

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Amy Sedaris Conquers YouTube

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-20T10:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Videos, Art / Design, How To

Comedian Amy Sedaris has a new channel on YouTube to promote her new book, Simple Times: Crafts For Poor People (which is a follow-up to her I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, where Amy teaches you how to be a good host...on her terms).

Check out some videos from her YouTube channel after the jump.

"Making Dusty Dean's Dynamite Stixx"

"Cattail Magic"

"Making Hot Dogs on a Rake"

link:// Amy Sedaris
link:// Amy Sedaris on YouTube

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Exclusive Q&A With Craig Rowin, the YouTube Millionaire

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-19T16:20:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, Exclusives

Craig Rowin asked the internet for a million dollars, and the internet answered. As we reported earlier, after just a couple of months, a real millionaire named Benjamin will be presenting writer/actor/comedian Rowin with the dough on February 2nd from New York's Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, where Urlesque will be providing a live Tweet feed.

So how did Benjamin find you?

He found me through the video and emailed me. A lot of people have, but this is the first time a millionaire has actually stepped forward. I would have guessed that Craig T. Nelson would have contacted me, since I called him out in the first video.

Considering that you are a comedian, did you think of this as a comedy video veering on a prank, or something that could actually come to fruition?

I always thought that there was a chance it could happen. I mean, it's the internet.

Your shooter and director, Will Hines, and co-writer, Adam Lustick, will be awarded $50,000 each for their relative contributions. How did they react when you told them the news?

Adam and Will are obviously psyched. The each worked for less than week altogether. So that's a crazy paycheck.

Your girlfriend mentioned a possible trip to Hawaii. Any other plans for what to do with the money yet?

Hawaii, maybe. I won't make any purchases until the check is in the bank. I think I might start with a cab ride back from the theatre. I usually split it. This time it would be all me.

Congrats, Craig! Take me with you?

link:// Craig Rowin
related:// Craig Rowin on Urlesque

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Giant Drunk Puppet Roams the Streets of Ireland

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-19T15:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Videos, Weird, Art / Design

In Dromore West, Ireland, there lives a ten-foot tall puppet named Arthur, who, controlled by a man on stilts, stumbles the streets like any red-nosed Irishman with too much booze on his breath.

Watch as the giant both fascinates and creeps out tourists and townspeople alike, all of them jarred by the sight of a ten-foot-tall boozehound trying to make his way around town, from pub to pub (and back again).

via:// The Internet Today
related:// Giant Marionettes on YouTube Somehow Make Regular Marionettes Less Terrifying

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Leonardo DiCaprio Freaking Out -- The Supercut

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-19T09:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, Movies, Mash-Ups, NSFW

Leonardo DiCaprio is one of the finest actors of our generation. And when you're a good actor, you're really good at freaking out onscreen, at least in terms of how the internet feels about you. We've seen it before with Nicolas Cage, Christian Bale, and Julianne Moore (who flip-flops between weeping and taking her top off, although the latter hasn't made it into a YouTube remix yet).

Here's a supercut of Leo giving some "titanic" (lol) performances in moments of hysteria, from What's Eating Gilbert Grape? to Revolutionary Road and beyond. Other celebrity freakout mash-ups follow, as well -- all NSFW!

Leonardo DiCaprio's freakouts:

Nicolas Cage goes nuts:

Julianne Moore can't stop crying:

via:// Jezebel
related:// 'Nicolas Cage Losing His Sh*t' Is Just That for Four Minutes
related:// Julianne Moore Is Always Crying
related:// Christian Bale Freak Out - #40 - The 100 Most Iconic Internet Videos
related:// Christian Bale Arrested for Going Nuts - His Movies Used as Evidence of Insanity

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Ventriloquist Miss Arkansas Loses Miss America Pageant Despite Being Awesome

Eliot Glazer — 2011-01-18T16:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Videos, Music, Cute, Television

Miss America judges Joy Behar, Marilu Henner, and Tony Dovolani are so dumb. This past Saturday night, they awarded the signature tiara and sash (and $50K scholarship, P.S.) to Teresa Scanlan of Nebraska. What they didn't realize was that Alyse Eady of Arkansas killed it a million times over. You don't even need to see what Miss Nebraska did in the Talent Competition portion of the show (I certainly haven't), because whatever it is simply cannot compare to Miss Arkansas, who sang a ditty called "I Want To Be A Cowboy Sweetheart" while performing ventriloquism on not one, but two dolls -- a boy and a girl!

Until today, Joy Behar was one of my favorite people. But I've experienced a seismic shift of opinion, because how could anyone deny Alyse Eady whatever she wants, including a tiara and sash? Give this girl a TV show (or at least a web series)!

via:// HyperVocal
related:// Miss Teen South Carolina - #30 of The 100 Most Iconic Internet Videos

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