Diet Yoo-hoo and FudgsicleI have some bad news. It's the future. I know, it happened so fast. Weren't we just wearing Umbros over neon bike shorts, eating Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pudding Pies, and grooving to Escape Club's "Wild Wild West" last week?

More bad news: in the future, many of the awesome (and sometimes awful) beverages you drank as a kid are gone. Lost in time. Extinct. I'm sorry. So grab a koozie and some crazy straws, and let's pour out a little Crystal Pepsi for the soda homies that are no longer with us.

New York Seltzer


Pizza parlors and bagel shops were never the same after 1993, when New York Seltzer (based in California, natch) went bankrupt.


Crystal Pepsi


Less addictive than crystal meth, more tasty than crystal gravy. We cherish that magic moment in the 90's when Crystal Pepsi ruled.



Coke II


We weren't mad at Coke, we were just disappointed. Except for one lady, who was livid.



Super Mario Bros. Soda


After a few tiny cans of Mario soda, Princess Peach's world was just about ready to be rocked.


Flintstones Soda

Yabba Dabba not-very-delicious actually.



Clearly Canadian

In middle school, some girl deep-throated a Clearly Canadian bottle at the lunch table and became suddenly very popular for a week. That girl was me.


Josta


We're still not sure what's in Guarana. Probably panthers.



Orbitz


Imagine drinking a lava lamp filled with balls.


Chocolate Soda

If your mom was on a diet in the 80s then you remember chocolate soda.



Surge

The fervent, online grassroots soda activism of Eric Karkovack and his compatriots has served as an inspiring model for other reform movements around the world; most recently, Egypt.


Snapple Tru Root Beer

IT'S ROOT BEER BUT IT LOOKS LIKE WATER?!!



Pepsi Tropical Chill

Someone over at Pepsi needed to "Chill" with the crazy fruit-flavored Pepsis.


Hubba Bubba


You know when gum is so sweet and juicy that you just swallow it, and then you feel sick? Drinking Hubba Bubba soda was like that.



Apple Slice

Pro tip: you can sort of duplicate Apple Slice by making a half and half mixture of apple juice and Sprite.



7Up Gold

Filled with optimism after the success of Cherry 7-Up, they rolled out 7-Up Gold. It tasted like caffeinated ginger ale, and was only on shelves for a minute, but the parties were legendary.



OK.

After the New Coke debacle of the mid 1980s, Coca Cola was a little skittish about rocking the boat with new products. Eh, but what the hell, they went ahead with it anyway. Despite involvement from artist Daniel Clowes, the results were not "OK." Hillary Buckholtz is editor of the nostalgia website I'm Remembering!