cindy jacobsJanuary 2011 has not gotten off to a good start. Dead birds are falling from the sky, snow is paralyzing major cities, and a nutjob's shooting spree in Tuscon, Arizona has devastated a nation. So, naturally, out come the crazies to voice their insane opinions in a timely manner.

Cue preacher Cindy Jacobs, who's correlating dead blackbirds with the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, which means that gay men and lesbians can serve their country proudly without having to shut up when someone asks them if they have a sweetheart back home for fear of losing their jobs because of their private lives.

In other words, Cindy Jacobs -- who might just be Amy Sedaris reprising her Strangers With Candy character, Jerri Blank (that blazer! that necklace! that hairline!) -- is here to clear things up for you: lesbians in the Air Force is killing drum fish.