You're a young girl wandering the streets of Boston clad in neon yellow and purple. Wherever will you go to school? Why, Emerson College, silly! Home to a seemingly endless train of emphatic Lady Gaga fans, fabulous homosexuals, and coiffed young hipsters with no qualms about clawing their way into frame.

Just think of everything you could do while you're there. You could join the Quidditch team! Or write copy for the school newscast! Or shoot confetti out of your sleeves into the faces of passersby!

College truly is a magical time in a girl's life. Choose wisely, ya snowflake. These are your golden years.

[I like to imagine all the cliques in this video watching it and hating on each others' performances. 'Cause that's what my college would have done. – Ed.]

Thanks for the tip, Claire!