creepy kids
There's something supremely unsettling about a child who casually refers to adults by their first names. I immediately imagine terrifying stage parents forcing recitations of Mamet monologues in the middle of the night. An endless stream of tearful auditions. A tiny body in a three-piece suit. It's like, just be a kid. You'll spend the rest of your life wishing you could.

So now, we're gonna be making fun of some children. I know, but it's like, if you're going to walk around acting like a tiny adult, we have to judge you as one. I don't make the rules.

Anyway, I've collected five of the most obnoxious camera-ready youngsters on the web. Read on to see them all, and vote for the one you can stand the least.
Lights Camera Jackson
I first wrote about this kid back in August. He's a professional film critic who gave "Inception" a C.
Reed Alexander
This star of Nickelodeon's "iCarly" caught our attention on The Today Show while shilling his cookbook. That's Mrs. Lee Gifford to you, kid.
Cecilia Cassini
Child fashion designer Cecilia Cassini was a guest on "The Nate Berkus Show." Listen to the squawky cadence of the girl saying such authoritative things about fashion and gumption. Nightmarish.

And listen to the tiny-Taylor-Swiftian model describe her outfit. These girls are already dating two hedge fund managers.
Jonathan Krohn
Ugh, a smarmy young Republican. The worst kind of Republican.
Andy Scott Harris
Children aren't funny. Even ones with crime scene tape ties. Again, I'm sure he loves his parents, that he's a good kid, but this routine would only be endearing if he were less polished than a late-night talk show host.
Which camera-ready kid is the most annoying?
Lights Camera Jackson, the film critic425 (32.3%)
Reed Alexander, the actor and cook188 (14.3%)
Cecilia Cassini, the fashion designer265 (20.1%)
Jonathan Krohn, the Republican author345 (26.2%)
Andy Scott Harris, the actor/comedian93 (7.1%)