Do you need help shaping your company's social media strategy, or "social strat" as the experts call it? Did you accidentally hire a "social media strategist" instead of a "stratninja?" Are you wondering how to integrate real-time social tools and apps such as Pootburner into your mobile efforts? (you do know about Pootburner, right? It just soft launched...wait for

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, except the last one which was rhetorical, you NEED to check out this interview we just did with viral strategenius Alex Blagg. He joined us via SkypeBook Beta to discuss his new boutique social startup, Read on for some sweet strat hacks.

Tell us about your transition from writer to social media strat guru.

Lemme blow your mind for a second: I was always a social media guru - the writing was just something I did to build up my brand online, which was part of my strat all along. After becoming an influencer in many of the biggest AOL chat rooms in the early '90s, then doing some trailblazing community-building work back in the Internet bulletin board days, I discovered blogs and realized that the technology had finally caught up to my visionary ideas about personal branding and self-publishing. That's when I started writing, started getting hits, started building up followers and influence. This was all just to set the stage for my Grand Strat, A BajillionHits.Biz, which I'm expecting to become bigger than Google.

At what age did you realize the importance of building your personal brand?

Well a lot of people don't know this about me, but I was born into a very poor family, buzz-wise. I mean, it was a comfortable white middle-class suburban upbringing with a healthy and supportive nuclear family - but we all know that is basically the worst personal brand a big city bro like myself can have these days. So I really had to create my own persona myself, out of nothing. It's a true Horatio Alger story. And that's why I'm stoked about being in a position to help others, so they don't have to suffer the way I did.

I noticed your ".Biz" domain. Impressive.

I chose ".Biz" because it sends a clear message, right there in the URL: this is a site/company that is laser-focused on driving profit, maximizing monetization, and increasing ROIs through cutting-edge, razor-sharp social media management and strat. We do business. The way I see it, the Web's still a Wild West Goldmine that's just waiting to be drilled, and if you're not going to probe out every last dollar like I am, we'll see you and your non-profit dot-org on MySpace with the rest of the losers.

I've been hearing a lot of buzz about one of the startups you mentioned recently - Pootburner. At a 30,000 ft. level, what's their scale/monetization strategy? (You can go higher than 30,000 ft. if that's too granular.)

Here's the mile-high drill-down: it's a provocative name that could be applied to a vast array of exciting startup venture initiatives. Off the top of my head, I'd say it might be a good name for a women's purse rental company, a luxury health insurance provider, or maybe a salad dressing on demand service? Those are just free ideas, what gets done with a gem like that is really up to whoever buys the domain name from me. Bidding starts at $499,999.

Any advice for aspiring social strat ninjas? What about aspiring social strat renegades?

My advice to anyone who thinks they can get into the social media strat game after me is this: shut up and get off my Internet, because I've already got this shiz handled.

How do you handle clients who don't 'get' 'social'?

Well first of all, none of my clients 'get' social media. If they did, they wouldn't have to hire to me. So in the rare and unlikely event that a client starts to get mouthy with me about my strat choices, I politely ask them to tell me how many hits they've gotten, then I respond by telling them how many hits I've gotten. Once they stop weeping, we usually just move on and that's that.

How many hits have you gotten?

My total aggregate all-time life hits can't be quantified with numbers or mathematics. The only way to know the exact magnitude, is to physically experience infinity, which would cause the world to be swallowed by light.

Wow. Thanks for your time today - we especially appreciate you taking the time to Tweetvlog during your flight. Last question - how do you handle haters?

I'll be honest: I don't really have a lot of haters. Most people who come to BajillionHits to hate end up leaving as converted brandbassadors, spreading the good word about my strat. In the rare case that I do experience real hate, usually I just put on some Kanye, kick back with a relaxing 'focus'-flavored Vitamin Water and try to ignore them, because I know that whenever someone tries to put something great into the world, or has ideas and strat that is truly extraordinary, there will always be a few people who are jealous and small-minded and don't have a lot of followers that will conspire to destroy them. That usually settles my nerves. But if I'm still buggin', I just count all my hits, and then I'm straight.

Check out Alex's latest insights at BajillionHits.Biz or follow him on Twitter, or whatever.