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When I set out to compile a field guide to dating sites, I knew I had to tap Kia Matthews, a blogger whose running commentary on her OKCupid experiences will thrill you and chill you. You want to date online? Get ready to meet these folks.

While Kia uses the free site OKCupid for her online dating, these types pop up on sites like Match or eHarmony too. You cannot escape the following eleven Dudes of Online Dating.
The Toby Radloff
Lists C++ under Languages Spoken.
Looking to Meet: "A nerdy girl (glasses a plus!) who wants to play a round of Settlers of Catan."

Photos: At least one in a server room. Probably one dressed as Predator.
The Barry (From High Fidelity)
Entire profile seems to be a joke at your expense.
Looking to Meet: Someone who's into 60s Bollywood, freak folk and if you're not into arguing over the nuances of David Foster Wallace's oeuvre over espresso, forget it.

Photos: Blurry avant-garde interpretations of some puddle outside his house.
The Uncle Ted
On a Friday Night You Can Find Me: Swing Dancing.
Looking to Meet: Someone who likes to laugh, knows how to have a good time.

Photos: Always wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
The Jarhead
Entire profile is pointless because he's in Afghanistan until March 2011...
Looking to Meet: Just someone to talk to till I get home.

Photos: Playing video games back at base. Flexing.
The Divorced 23-Year-Old with Kids
"My kids are my world."
Looking to Meet: Someone to watch my kids while I work the night shift at friggin' Best Buy.

Photos: Smoking out back of Best Buy.
The O'Doyle Rules
A 27-year-old "consultant" who lists Happy Hour as one of his talents.
Looking to Meet: Someone who likes knows how to party but can be chill too lol.

Photos: Hands either double-fisting beers or giving the double-shocker or double gang sign.
The Corporate Hippie
Using his Juris Doctorate to keep rivers clean.
Looking to Meet: Someone who knows what's really important in life. Someone to share vegan recipes with.

Photos: Cleaning rivers. Running. Being generally perfect and unattainable.
The 8 Mile
An aspiring rapper, just waiting for the right moment in which to lose himself, own it.
Looking to Meet: Someone with soul who would have fun spending a day papering the city with fliers :).

Photos: at least one of himself doing the "pensive praying hands" thing.
The Outdoorsy
Builds usable watercraft from found objects.
Looking to Meet: a girl who can keep up.

Photos: Him on top of some mountain, wearing a backpack on a bridge, rock climbing.
The Quagmire
Just a December looking for his May.
Looking to Meet: Women who are full of life.

Photos: Partying with promotional models at a sponsored event.
The Reference
Communicates exclusively in movie quotes.
Looking to Meet: "It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good."

Photos: Zany recreation of the shootout scene from Reservoir Dogs only with bananas instead of guns.