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fetusFor only $35, you have the opportunity to win yourself something described by eBay seller pauls714 as a "SIDESHOW GAFF PICKLED PUNK SHRUNKEN HEAD FETUS MUMMY." Got that?

The "one of a kind" polymer sculpture of a "fetus/baby" (note the slash, because these differences matter) boasts a notable "bi-lateral cleft palate," for all you Fetus Enthusiasts who understand why that would be considered a point of sale, as we say in the biz.

Listed under "Sizes and Things," -- and pay attention to the "things" -- we learn a boatload of stuff about this pickled kind-of-born:

1. Over 6" tall in its' "Fetal-like" position. And its' head is almost 3" tall.
2. Painted w/ acrylics and has a sprayed semi-gloss finish.
3. This piece could be positioned in different ways and to me this piece shows "Small".
4. The 4 sided plastic container is not part of the auction. (Around $7.00 at Wal-Mart)
5. The sculpture was held in place by a "Clear-VELCRO" adhesive strips. It will be removed.


The good news? It's a very pretty fake pickled fetus, thanks to that semi-gloss finish, and is able to be positioned in any way you choose -- even UPSIDE DOWN (thank you, Velcro).

The bad news? You have to buy the container in which you place this thing, but who's to say you can't pickle vegetables in the funniest way possible: held in the tiny hands of a slimy fake fetus? It's like placing a miniature log cabin inside a fish tank, except fish are slightly more relaxing to stare at than something that looks as dead as it does alive.

(I placed a bid. You'll have to beat me if you want this thing. – Nick Douglas, Ed.)