There are just so many lessons to be learned from the classic film The Little Mermaid. Like how women should obsess over men they barely know and change who they are forever!

If that seems like a stretch, watch The Second City's brilliant "Advice for Young Girls from a Cartoon Princess" starring Danielle Uhlarik, and soon you'll understand how everyone's favorite Disney movie has laid the cultural foundation for generations of girls to become hoarders and addicts. But like, really pretty ones.