Joe Barton
When Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) apologized to BP for the White House's efforts to get the oil company to pay for the Gulf Oil Spill, he started a firestorm of controversy. Mat Honan, the writer behind Barack Obama is Your New Bicycle, wondered what other absurd things Barton would apologize for next. Was he sorry to England because the US soccer team scored a goal against them?

Joe Barton Would Like to Apologize is Honan's extremely viral collection of fake Joe Barton apologies, for the most ridiculous things you can imagine. The thing is, they're not that much more ridiculous than Barton's actual words. Honan's site took off extremely quickly and even got a mention on The Rachel Maddow Show. After the jump, check out some of the best fake apologies from the site.

Joe Barton Would Like to Apologize To:


God, for killing off his noble bacteria with the scourge of antibiotics.

Darth Vader, for blowing up the Death Star (twice!). That thing must have cost a lot of money to build. Tell you what, we'll write you a check for it from the American taxpayer. Copacetic?

Men, for diluting our strong, masculine authority by giving women the vote.


Goldman Sachs. Our economy wasn't that important anyway. Go nuts.