6.18.10 - 1:00PM
- by
Jay Hathaway

'Joe Barton Would Like To Apologize' Turns a Congressman's Mistake Viral

When Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) apologized to BP for the White House's efforts to get the oil company to pay for the Gulf Oil Spill, he started a firestorm of controversy. Mat Honan, the writer behind Barack Obama is Your New Bicycle, wondered what other absurd things Barton would apologize for next. Was he sorry to England because the US soccer team scored a goal against them?

Joe Barton Would Like to Apologize is Honan's extremely viral collection of fake Joe Barton apologies, for the most ridiculous things you can imagine. The thing is, they're not that much more ridiculous than Barton's actual words. Honan's site took off extremely quickly and even got a mention on The Rachel Maddow Show. After the jump, check out some of the best fake apologies from the site.

Joe Barton Would Like to Apologize To:

God, for killing off his noble bacteria with the scourge of antibiotics.

Darth Vader, for blowing up the Death Star (twice!). That thing must have cost a lot of money to build. Tell you what, we'll write you a check for it from the American taxpayer. Copacetic?

Men, for diluting our strong, masculine authority by giving women the vote.

Goldman Sachs. Our economy wasn't that important anyway. Go nuts.

previously:// BP Oil Spill Backlash Goes Viral

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6.19.10

By rocknwroll

Highest Rank

Barton's initial comments typify in general the Republican party mindset toward the average American (corporations 1st, people 2nd or maybe a distant 4th behind dogs and cats). Think about it next time you vote.

6.18.10

By halfmoon

Lowest Rank

I suggest you think about it and the job you currently have..Corporations employ America..Corporations provide salaries, healthcare and enough security so people buy homes, cars, etc..
Or perhaps you pick vegetables for an independent farmer although there are very few of those here in California..Most farms are owned and managed by corporations that you seem to despise..
Corporations here and worldwide allow their countries to raise the standard of living unless you prefer sleeping in a tent or living in a commune..
People like you who are anti-corporation are hypocrites, you take there monies and criticize their existence. Perhaps you would prefer a country like Mexico where everyone is trting to slither under the fence to escape poverty...

6.18.10

By dacc3cde

Lowest Rank

At least BP uses America's oil reserves instead of importing oil from the Middle East. We need oil and the environmentalists made the rules that caused the spill. Do you know how deep in the ocean is a mile, just like liberals do not really know how much is a trillion dollars. We all need to do better, but to blame the Rep. is not the answer. The congress wants BP to have reserve money, but Congress has NO money in reserve. Their way of rewarding bad behavior in Americans, as welfare babies, will keep this country dependant on the GVT. so they get the votes but fail to solve the problems. Joe's point was only the congress could make BP look good.

6.18.10

By Rob

Neutral

But you my friend Halfmoon ARE obviously one of those republicans who love big oil!

6.18.10

By grandma

Lowest Rank

I agree with halfmoon. Congress and Waxman are are joke. BP is owning up to the ACCIDENT and Obama and his stooges better start backing off. By the way, all you tree hu;nging oil haters...what do you think runs your computer, tv, radio...etc...grow up progressives...this is the real world and ACCIDENTS do happen.

6.18.10

By Cappy

Highest Rank

Barton thinks Big Oil is more important than the people and sea life on the gulf coast. He apologized and feels the American taxpayers should clean up after BP. Is this man on meth? These republicans are owned by BP and others like them. Joe Barton alone has collected more than 1.5 million dollars from BP, so it's no wonder he's sucking up. Remember Joe Barton when you vote in November. God help us all.

6.18.10

By James

Highest Rank

Hey Halfmoon, do you know what big corporations are good at...? It's not employing people, it's laying people off. To continually cut costs, they lay off hundreds...no thousands. Their only goal is to make a profit and to expand it...not in the hire of people. If not for the unions, big corporations would get away with it unopposed. It's the unions that made the middle class...not corporations. Because if they had their way, men would be working 16 hour days for a nickle, and women and children would be in sweat shops.

6.18.10

By Dustin

Lowest Rank

I wish he HAD NOT apologize. This is not about corporations first, it's about the rule of law. We have a legal system for a reason. The government or the individuals affected can sue, that is their recourse, not another government slush fund that helps no one but the teachers union or some government lackey making $100K a year looking at porno.

6.18.10

By bob E

Lowest Rank

He appologized because this country is still a democracy, not a communist state. The President does not have the legal power to shut down a corporation. Only Congress can do that and they have not done so.
Did you see anyone ask a question without reading his notes. In other words it was strickly a script for the idiots that we have voted into power.
Now to those who hate oil companies. Why not get out and vote so that one can only drive two days a week. The rest of the time you take public transportation and if there is none, you walk. Don't complain, you are the ones who want to shut the oil companies down.

6.18.10

By James

Highest Rank

For years the GOP has supported non-regulation in big oil because big oil contributes to their fund. This and for no other reason congressmen like Barton reveals his inner soul. He only apologized because the rest of that republican gang told him it would be un-wise to support a company that is the cause of havoc in the gulf. Now, he's back-tracking, just like the "sun-tan man" did. They want to support any cause that is opposite of this administration...but, they keep stabbing themselves in the mouth. If the government can't make them (BP) pay, then no one else can. Thank God we live in a country that knows when to use it's muscle.

6.18.10

By James

Highest Rank

Bob E....There is a difference in shutting oil companies down and making them do the right thing. Why don't you think about the people who live in the gulf and will have their livlihood destroyed? Why do you even give a flying leap about the feelings of BP? Is your hatred of our government so great that you put the well fare of it's people behind BP? Instead of putting the boot on BP's neck...it should have been up their....!

6.18.10

By mgraf1080

Highest Rank

To Halfmoon: do you realize that there are a lot of US corporations hiring illegals? Maybe we need to penalize those corporations and it will lessen the number of Mexicans "slithering" under the fence.

6.19.10

By lucy

Neutral

I agree. But I think it takes guts galore for people to say that we should accept the illegals that sneak in because they deserve a better life and then those same people will hire them to do a job at a penance because they are illegal. You can not believe the number of people who think that you are a racist so and so if you denounce illegal immigration but will use those workers terribly. If they deserve a better life, then why wouldn't you pay the same amount for an illegal worker as you would an legal worker.

6.18.10

By L Lee

Neutral

I too think is playing politics here. We need to realize things
happen bad as it maybe. It will get taken care of. We need to let
BP clean it up and if it isn't done right we force them to take
care of it. But bullying is not a good tactic. Obama just found
a cause. He needs to get to work on jobs and the budget.

6.18.10

By JMJ

Highest Rank

If Obama had sat in the oval office doing nothing about the oil, all the usual racists would be complaining about him not doing anything. One thing I have observed ist that over the last year and a half since Obama became President, nothing he does is of satisfaction to all of the overt racists. If he farts and smells bad, just to be in opposition, you ignorant people will say it smells good.

6.18.10

By James

Highest Rank

If in your wildest fantasies, you think that BP would have paid for this crisis on their own, you're drinking the same kool-aid as Barton. It is the government's DUTY to keep on the backs of a company that has violated every rule in the book. When BP screws up, people die...real people. This is not their first accident. I'm sure the people of the gulf states affected want Obama to not only put the boot on BP's neck....but up their rears as well.

6.18.10

By madcowbbq

Highest Rank

it was his opinion i wouold NEVER have apoligized until it was proven to be a wrong opinion

6.18.10

By James

Highest Rank

Common sense should have told you it's a wrong opinion. Do you think that the people of the gulf states affected are thinking twice about his comment? Maybe he should invite them all to a town hall meeting and repeat what he said on live TV. He made this comment not only in front of BP, but the entire world that watches CNN. Barton's statement was the dumbest thing he could have ever said in the mist of this oil crisis. And there is not one civilized country in the world who wouldn't protect it's shores and curse the embecile who caused the crisis. Barton should keep his stupid opinions to himself and not open his mouth embarrassing our country.

6.18.10

By Steve Adams

Highest Rank

I hope BP gets taken to the mat for their actions in the spill, also the government for it's response. but as far as the testimony before congress, what do expect, but no reply. when you announce,(HOLDER) that you a seeking criminal charges against BP. You plead the fith so as not to incrimnate yourself. I wouldn't have answer either. Is'nt what lawyers tell you to do? this was all grandstanding on behalf of all the idiots in congress trying to get their approval ratings up from the gutter. You know never let a good disaster go to waste!

6.18.10

By Steve

Neutral

Seems like he was speaking for his constituents that all rely on the oil and gas industry. Who is suppose to represent. his comment however was off base!