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snookiSnooki, the - oh for God's sake - something something reality television "star," has her own YouTube channel. You might as well stop reading right now, but if you're a fan of trainwrecks and BEING ALIVE IN THIS MOMENT WE CALL 2010, then read on.

Look, if you need to know something about Snooki, she's on a television show called Jersey Shore that is an awful, awful show. Women get punched by gorilla men. Gorilla men dance with a raised fist reminiscent of angry warriors celebrating bloodlust. It is a sad mirror shone upon its own viewers. Regardless, SnookTv dishes out some surreal wisdom every once in a while. Like this: an 8 minute magnum opus (OPUS) of what she looks for in a guy. Please. Check it out. And check out SnookTv while you're at it.