- 5.17.10 - 9:00AM
- - by
- Cole Stryker
31 Board Game Commercials From Your Childhood
Noticeable trends include staving off impending doom (LOL Cold War), exterminating pests (LOL bedbug epidemic) and complex, easily breakable mechanical structures (LOL Challenger explosion?).
Grape EscapeSome of us will always associate 'Funiculì, Funiculà' with Grape Escape rather than opera.
Shark AttackA good strategy here was to stick your finger in the shark's mouth to prevent your guy from getting eaten.
Hungry Hungry HipposThis game is responsible for your dad's tinnitus.
Connect FourIt was tough to play this game without imagining little arms and legs on all the checkers.
PerfectionIf Jay Leno ever loses his Tonight Show gig, he can always fall back on shilling board games.
Guess WhoI always felt like Guess Who encouraged people to wish they were white.
Don't Wake DaddyThere was always a weird undertone of child abuse lurking behind this game.
KerplunkI think my dad based his rapping style on this commercial.
Mouse TrapIt always bugged me that this song mostly didn't rhyme.
Mr. MouthHas anyone actually ever seen a frog sitting on a lily pad?
Bed BugsAnd everyone who lives in New York said, "Yeah, having bed bugs is a real laugh riot."
Splat!Jimmy Durante was a big inspiration for a lot of these game mascots.
Gator GolfWhat real-world scenario is the basis for all these games that feature putting balls into the mouths of animals?
Mr. BucketThis song was an endless source of amusement for an 8-year old.
Booby TrapA big theme in the 80s was preventing some horrible disaster, usually in the form of plastic crap rolling under the furniture.
JengaTo this day, you will hear people chant "Jenga! Jenga!" anywhere this game is played.
OperationI attribute my long-standing distrust of conventional medicine to this game.
Don't PanicSquiggly lines were huge in the early 90s.
Wrestling SuperstarsAll the fun of wrestling without any of the fun of wrestling!
Electronic Talking BattleshipThe explosion sound effects made your schadenfreude that much more delicious.
Simon"The fun is in the challenge" is the same pitch my business calculus professor gave me in college.
CrossfireThe key to Crossfire is figuring out which gun is less broken.
Sorry!This game encouraged generations of kids to perfect the insincere apology.
Mall MadnessSome marketing exec was all, "How can we capitalize on the whole Clueless thing? You know, where women are supposed to be shallow and stupid?"
Taboo!What's tragic is that David Alan Grier is now at a point in his career where he could be doing ads like this again.
Clue Jr.Was the original clue so complex that we needed a dumbed-down version or was it that we didn't want our kids to pretend to be murderers?
Monopoly Jr.Apparently no one is too young to learn about the harsh realities of ruthless, unfettered capitalism.
Ask ZandarWe weren't allowed to ask Zandar because it was too close to Ouija-type occult activity for my mom's comfort.
Head of the ClassOne more data point in the "girls are smarter than boys" argument that was so big in my 90s childhood.
Jumpin' MonkeysThis game usually devolved into flinging monkeys at the other kid's face.
ToppleI feel like I always got stuck playing this with some kid who would cry when they got Topple'd and then I'd have to clean it up all by myself.
Thin IceI was always more of a "Don't Break the Ice" guy myself, but this one's OK until you run out of the little membranes.
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