I know how it is. It's early March and you're walking through the store when you come upon a Marshmallow Peeps display. Two shelves, maybe more, stacked high with fluorescent chicks and bunnies. Some of you may turn in disgust, others sneak a box or two into your cart, while others of you will be moved to creatively express fascination.

To the portion of this group whose passion is culinary, I have one piece of advice: unless you're preparing something with chocolate, Marshmallow Peeps have no place in your recipe. Let's learn about cooking with peeps.

To start, this Marshmallow Peeps Cupcake recipe will certainly earn you points for creativity. However, those to whom these cupcakes are served will wonder why the chemical sweetness of the Peeps was not cut by a somewhat bitter chocolate cake base.

Think everyone might be making Marshmallow Peeps Cupcakes this year? For a more elaborate celebration, try your hand at the Easter Turducken. This bad Larry requires you to stuff a Cadbury Creme Egg into the business end of a Peep. This unholy union is then put inside one of those crappy, hollow milk chocolate bunnies. This is really something you should (and easily can) do.

Turducken Peeps

Chocolate covered Peeps are sure to please anyone who likes good stuff, so you might consider giving these a shot. They, obviously, will taste delicious. Tempering chocolate can be a giant pain in the ass, though. If you're not a chocolatier, probably buy these from someone who is.

Chocolate Peeps

Now, doesn't chocolate mousse and Peeps sound delightful? This recipe calls for chocolate mousse flavored Peeps, but where is the flavor differentiation in that? I suggest using regularly flavored Peeps, but to add an exciting air of carnage to your dish, cut up a couple of red Peeps and whip them right into your mousse.

Mousse Peeps

These are ways to invite Peeps into your kitchen. A couple things not to try? Peeps and coffee, stir-fried Peeps, and Peeps flavored lip balm (not something you'd make at home, but still an abomination). I would give Peeps and Chili and sweet potato garnished with Peeps one chance, but probably just that.

Stir Fry Peeps

I'd be remiss if I didn't discuss the possibility of a Peep cocktail. You probably don't want to drink a PeepMopolitan, a Peep-a-tini, or a Peep garnished Blue Hawaiian unless you want to be mocked mercilessly by an internet stranger who likely lives far from your home. On the other hand, you might try a Peep on the top of a bastardized Peppermint Patty (hot chocolate and Peppermint Schnapps).

Drink Peeps

Lastly, under no circumstances should you try to tempt the Internet Gods by combing bacon and Peeps. Hey Internet, what did I just say? My warning came too late.

Bacon Peeps

Finally, if, after all that, you're still considering cooking with Peeps, I've produced a handy flowchart to help you decide if you should.
Peeps Flowchart

Last year, Aaron Cohen conducted extensive research into the online world of Marshmallow Peeps. The result, "Marshmallow Peeps on the Internet - A study," features at least 155 annotated links to Peep related content on the web. He writes Unlikely Words, @eatBoston, 815 Sentences About Lost, and will soon be hosting the first Boston Bacon and Beer Festival. You can reach him here.