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PeepsSince it's Peep Week at Urlesque, I thought I would turn to the dark side of Easter candy and explore the world of marshmallow Peeps knock-offs. These creepy concoctions are made from the same basic material as the official Peeps (sugar, lots of sugar), but they have to go by a different name, for legal reasons.

The Just Born candy company basically controls the Peeps market with an iron fist, but two grotesque mutant Peep knockoffs seem to have survived. That might not be a good thing, considering what they look like. Marshmallow animals are traditionally Easter territory, but these two types of Peeps wannabes are better suited for Halloween.

Barnyard Buddies

Barnyard Buddies:

Well, there's a bunny on the package, but these guys look more like marshmallow versions of Stoned Birthday Dog, the very laid-back white terrier who was all over the web earlier this year. Because they have no bodies to speak of, they can't stand up, which makes them totally useless in microwave Peep wars. If you want to track down some Barnyard Buddies for yourself (or perhaps to terrify a child on Easter morning), they were last sighted at Wal-Mart.

Marshmallow Pals

Marshmallow Pals:

I'm not sure why candy companies assume we want to eat our friends, or why they assume anybody would want to be "pals" with these frankly creepy characters. Each pack of four gets you a yellow sailor duck, a stereotypical pink bunny with a bow and a flower, a childlike pink duck, and a blue rabbit with a bow tie who looks like Jerry Lewis. These critters are so scary-looking that you can pop them in the microwave with little remorse and they might actually beat out authentic Peeps when it comes to fighting. Give them a try, if you're not afraid of having nightmares about those little eyebrows. You can find them at drugstore chains like Rite-Aid.

So, if you really want to protest the Just Born marshmallow monopoly, you have two alternatives. They're not pretty and they're not any cheaper than regular Peeps, but they're out there...haunting your dreams.