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My Aunt Selma's matzoh balls are like bowling balls in both consistency and flavor. Maybe worse, since minty chewing gum residue has, on occasion, adhered to the side of a bowling ball.

I've never been a great fan of eastern European cuisine, but when coupled with Selma's miserable cooking skills, it makes me want to retch.

Now, the internet has shown me a deeper spirtual cause for the sports-ball-like matzoh ball: matzoh ball sports!

The Ultimate Matzoh-Ball Game lets you shoot bouncy Jewish dumplings into a "Kosher Net" over ten levels of difficulty. An off-screen Hebrew taunts your air balls ("My bubba can do better!"), but jaunty klezmer music inspirits you to shoot again. Though a backboard made of matzoh seems ill-conceived, the game's a great way to get through the Seder now that you're too old to hunt down afikoman.