- 3.29.10 - 11:30AM
- - by
- Will Zweigart
5 Safe Sexting Tips for Adults
(photo via quinn.anya)
According to a recent study from The Pew Internet & American Life Project, today's teens got game. One in six cell phone-owning adolescents has received a sexually suggestive image or video from someone they know! That's probably pretty alarming for those of you who aren't getting any sexts at all, let alone on a regular basis.
It's about time adults got in on the action - but be sure to follow these tips before blasting career shrapnel out into cyberspace for all eternity (if you're going to show your ass, you might as well cover it).
1. Stick with seniors - Remember how Andrea from Beverly Hills, 90210 looked 35+ but she was really in high school? You can never be sure how old someone is, so be on the safe side and save your sauciest and most suggestive sexts for seniors. Bonus: they love getting photos!
2. Use highly sophisticated double entendres - Basically, any normal phrase that might qualify for a "that's what she said" can easily be converted into covert code. For example, if you're dating an English teacher, "can I interest you in some Longfellow or Cummings?" is a totally normal question they get all the time.
3. Keep it on vibrate during business hours - I'm not really sure what this means in the context of this article, but it sounded funny and I feel like you can probably infer something useful. So keep it on vibrate y'all.
4. Save time with "twexting" - Once you get the hang of things, you may find yourself having sexts with multiple partners at the same time. Sounds fun, but it's actually a lot of work and leaves your mobile device more susceptible to viruses. So switch to Twitter instead and holler @ everyone all at once.
5. Include a legal disclaimer - Avoid unprotected sexts by adding this to the end of each message: "This sext contains a picture of my junk that may be privileged and/or confidential. This picture is intended for the use of the designated recipient only. If you have received this sext in error, either because I'm drunk or the designated recipient found it to be laughably inadequate and worth forwarding, please be advised that any disclosure, copying, distribution or other use of the contents of this sext is prohibited, and frankly, not cool."
When in doubt, just follow the wisdom of sextpert James Lipton: "Before you sext, stroke your beard and give it a ponder. If you don't have a beard, you can borrow mine."
Good luck everybody!
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