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Chuck Norris factsA new decade means time for the Chuck Norris meme to jump host bodies like a replicating virus, or Doctor Who. If you didn't already know: Chuck Norris can kill a man by staring at him, sneezes with one eye open, and likes to get into fights with Arianna Huffington. He is also a ridiculous parody of himself, who has somehow leveraged his recent Internet fame into a real-life comeback...sort of. He helped Mike Huckabee lose the election? Cool. But who will be this decade's equivalent of Chuck Norris? We have some ideas.

Dolph Lundgren

'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia' brought back the 'Rocky IV' star to the be the repeating punchline to one of their episodes this season, as the gang tries to think of a washed-up actor who Hollywood could reinvent the career of for an Academy Award (think Mickey Rourke in 'The Wrestler'). We were going to chalk it up to randomness, but then two weeks later 'Family Guy' cut an entire montage of Lundgren working out in their 'Something Something Darkside' episode. Now we're on the lookout for Lundgren around every corner and that puts his previously-forgotten face on the forefront of possible Chuck Norris-esque reinvention.



The Bear Jew

Eli Roth's bat-wielding Jewish soldier from last year's 'Inglorious Basterds' already has his own Tumblr devoted to "facts" about him, many of them either copying direct Chuck Norris facts or talking about how the Bear Jew could kick Norris' butt. Example: "The Bear Jew invented violence - before the Bear Jew there were only stern looks."


Rick Allen

Def Leppard's one-armed drummer is epic in his own right, but if you take any Chuck Norris quote and add "but one-handed!" it gets so much better.



Warren Beatty

"Did you know that Warren Beatty has had sex with almost 13,000 women, but is denying every one of them except Madonna?" That's a Norris-ism right there.
Warren Beatty


The Situation

No one has been actively trying to promote his meme legacy more than Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. His Twitter feed is already an exercise in Dadist expressionism (example: "so much work so lil time -- looks like a job for -- ooooooooo nooooooo looooook itssss a bird -- iiiitsssss a plane -- nahhh thats jus SItuation"), and we're pretty sure that coming out with a self-parodying video while your reality TV show had only been on the air for 3 weeks was an exercise in marketing brilliance. Expect this man to go more viral than his Herpes symplex.

Who deserves the prestigious honor?
Dolph Lundgren41 (27.0%)
The Bear Jew51 (33.6%)
Rick Allen18 (11.8%)
Warren Beatty2 (1.3%)
The Situation15 (9.9%)
Other (Write your selection in the comments)25 (16.4%)