12.17.09 - 10:00AM
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Michael Jordan

19 Depressing, Crazy and Downright Awful Nativity Scenes (Photos + Videos)

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You guys, whose fault is this? Seriously, who built these 19 hideous nativity scenes? Hmmm? No one is going to step forward?

Babes and dude-babes, this is soooo not cool. We here at Urlesque have been bringing you nothing but nonstop kick-ass ultra good holiday coverage and now you go and do this. Did we do something to hurt your feelings? Talk to us!

Someone please explain the 19 depressing, crazy and downright awful nativity scenes below!

1. Lego Nativity

The designers forgot that baby Jesus had arms.

(via The L Magazine)

2. Chicken Nativity

Lil' baby Jesus should not be edible.

(via A Little Leaven)

3. Squid Nativity

Squids living in a castle, birthing our lord and savior? Sure, why not.

(via Squid.us)

4. Charlie Brown Nativity

Charles Schultz, noted secular humanist, would love this (:beep: :beep: that is your sarcasm detector going off).

(via The L Magazine)

5. ACLU Nativity

I love the insightful political commentary of thi--wait a second, is that Stalin?

(via The Amboy Times)

6. Celebrity Nativity

Manager of Madame Tussauds: "Guys, remember when Hugh Grant got caught cheating on his wife with a prostitute in a parking lot? Me too. Let's put him in a nativity scene."

(via Hello Magazine)

7. Duck Nativity

There's a horribly offensive joke in here about eating a Christmas goose... luckily, I refuse to make it.

(via Going Jesus)

8. Sexy Nativity

P-cht, I've seen more erotic nativity scenes.

(via Death By 1000 Papercuts)

9. Crocheted Nativity

Are these meerkats or rats?

(via The L Magazine)

10. Dog Nativity

Notice how the pup standing in for baby Jesus is a different breed from the dad...good work, that.

(via Going Jesus)

11. Marshmallow Nativity

Again, lil' baby Jesus should not be edible.

(via Going Jesus)

12. Inflatable Nativity

Nothing says commitment to your lord and savior like a blow up nativity scene.

(via Walmart)

13. Island of Dr. Moreau Nativity

Figure from this nativity scene: "heeccchhhhaaargghhh, please kiiiiiiiilllll me."

(via The L Magazine)

14. Fiber Optic Nativity

Psychedelic...perfect for people who like to drop acid when they worship.

(via Going Jesus)

15. Belt Buckle Nativity

Portability and proximity to my crotch are not qualities that I would value in a nativity scene, but to each their own.

(via Going Jesus)

16. Bake Set Nativity

Damn it, lil' baby Jesus should not be edible!

(via DVO)

17. Cat Nativity

Is nothing sacred? Must cats be everywhere?! You guys are killing me, here.

(via Going Jesus)

18. Egg Timer Nativity

You guys are failing to grasp this... nativity scenes should have nothing to do with food.

(via Going Jesus)

19. Human Hair Nativity

That's it guys, this is the last straw: I am canceling Christmas.

(via Diagonal View)

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12.28.09

By Big Time Star Observer

Neutral

There's a museum called the Living Bible Museum in Mansfield, Ohio, USA that specializes in Biblical diaramas and Christian artwork. There are diarama scenes completely mad up of bottle caps and other discarded pieces of trash. There are also some wood carvings and other nice religious expressions there. Some of these nativity scenes are really no different. The Lego scene is cool, the Peanuts one is very cool - since Charles Schultz was a Christian (not a fundie fanatic), the inflatable Nativity is absolutely brilliant, even the human hair sculpture is reusing waste material and the rest are pretty much neat in their "cutesy-wutsey" "for-the-kids" special way. Hey, at least no one sculpted a Nativity from dung. The only bad scene was the one from Madisons. The clothes worn by the mannequins weren't so offensive but sticking a Christ Child on Mary's crotch is tasteless. Someone should tell those grumpy grannies: if you don't like what you see then DON'T SHOP AT THE STORE. Don't shove your views on anyone, if you don't like something then don't patronize it. Also the ALCU scene is in bad taste. Keep religion and politics SEPARATE. One last note: Hugh Grant is a white Briton. That hooker he did numbers with is a black American. So why does their "Baby Jesus" child look white? Hmmm...

12.30.09

By Danny

Neutral

On #4, should my sarcasm detector be going of because secular humanist Charles Schultz wouldn't want his characters being used in a Christmas setting? I mean, who could imagine the man allowing, say, Charlie Brown, to be featured in a Christmas special? Next thing you know we'll see Linus mouthing Scriptures... that would really set old man Schultz rolling in his grave. Sarcasm alerts going off yet?

I've actually heard that the dude lost his religion, but considering the Charlie Brown Christmas special (written by Schultz) is entrenched in American culture no one should really be shocked to see the characters popping up in a Christmas context. It isn't like characters written by a secular humanist are being ripped of their essence, it's more like characters intentionally portrayed by their creator in an earnest "true meaning of Christmas" context are being used in a religiousy Christmas display. Maybe the nativity is kinda tacky, but that's a separate issue.

1.01.10

By kittypaws

Neutral

It's sad. Even those who know religion is being buried under commercialism and misunderstanding can't resist the urge to just melt in with all the understatements made about the miracle of christ. Even I don't think I truly value it. Or maybe feeling guilty now proves my belief? If the line hadn't been blurred I could have plainly seen where I stood.

1.03.10

By Grey_Magi

Neutral

Okay, now that the season is over... I find most of these funny, but seriously, Christmas is nothing more than the overly commerciallized, molestation of deep rooted, time honored pagan celebrations. Celebrating Christmas is celebrating the tyranny of the Catholic Cult. Sad but true. If you celebrate "Christmas" Celebrate it for the essence of it all, because no matter how hard you try to defend Him, Christ had nothing to do with it.

If you have similar views please E-mail me at prophetofzion07@yahoo.com Haters just keep it to yourself.

1.03.10

By Don Meaker

Neutral

Asserting that Jesus should not be edible seems to imply that you never paid attention during Mass.

1.06.10

By lizzie

Neutral

"Is nothing sacred? Must nativities be everywhere? You guys are killing me!"

I'll take the cats over the nativities every day of the week!

1.11.10

By danny

Neutral

Only in Taiwan : The Christmas Bra Tree (as displayed in the window of an Easy Shop women's lingerie store in Chiayi City, December 25, 2009)

http://pcofftherails101.blogspot.com/2010/01/only-in-taiwan-christmasbra-tree-as.html

1.24.10

By Gritz

Neutral

Buddhist can not be eaten. Thus, I am Buddhist. :)

12.23.10

By Scotty Simson

Neutral

It's great that so many people from so maqny different walks of life cqan share their artistic views of a rediculous holiday we call christmas. Christ haqd nothing what soever to christmas anyway and once emporor constantine decided to force religeon into the equation that left it open to all kinds of interpretation of it. That includes the real meaning of the erect tree and red balls symoblizing Nemrods erect penis and balls to honor the winter soltice and leaving cookies and milk for satin (santa claus). Humans have made way too much out of christmas and as wee all know, christmas is just a commercialised business of creqting jobs and making money plaus having fun with friends and family. That was the origfinal intent of the pagan holiday of the winter soltice anyway. Have fun and be merry. Leave religeon out of it. We all know christ (Yahushua which was his real birth name), wasn't born on December, 25th, has nothing to do with this winter holiday but the church would want you to think so. Leave christ in the chirch and christmas in the home. Happy Holiday.