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Pssst. Hey pal. Psssssst. Yeah, you with the face... no, not you... yeah, you. Come here, pal 'o mine. You looking to buy? Eh? Looking to score, are you? Maybe a little sweet cheeba? Hmmm? How about a little Moroccan brown, eh?

BAM!

Hand-cuffs! Aww, what's wrong? You thought that was just your friendly neighborhood drug dealer, huh? Incorrect, amigo!!! That was an undercover cop and you're going away for a long long time, you criminal. If only you had checked out Urlesque's list of the top five legal drug videos before you decided to hit the harder stuff...

5. Cat Nip


Cat nip (nepeta cataria) is easily the most adorable legal drug on the market. The oils of this flowering plant are said to have a sedative effect on humans, but cats find them stimulating and impossibly delightful. Seriously, there is nothing cuter and more satisfied than a cat on cat nip. If Kublai Khan's pleasure palace existed for cats, it would probably look something like this:



4. Helium

Helium. The second element. It's used in cryogenics, in deep sea diving, to cool superconducting magnets and... to make people talk funny? Yes. Definitely. You've probably heard a hilariously high pitched helium voice before, but have you heard Vin Diesel do it?



3. Caffeine

Mmm... caffeine ...your favorite drug. Coffee. Espresso. Tea. Soda. It's stimulating, it's excellent and it's everywhere. But have you ever thought to yourself: "man, I'd love a quick hit of caffeine, but Starbucks is too expensive and I'm miles away from my home"? Don't worry, I have the solution to all your problems: just free-base your caffeine.



2. Salvia Divinorum

This tall flowering plant has been used as a psychoactive drug for hundreds of years, primarily by indigenous Mesoamerican peoples. These days, it's mostly used by bored teenagers. Salvia is still (mostly) legal, but I recommend you skip using it and just enjoy the ridiculous YouTube videos that it generates:



#1) Ipecac

Ipecac is a syrup derived from the roots of the ipecacuanha plant. If you swallow it, you will throw up. Guaranteed. 100% certain. No bones about it. So, please, don't be like this guy (because warning! he definitely throws up):