Everyone is familiar with deep ocean beasties like the giant isopod, gulper eel and goblin shark. Krakens and slimy sea dragons have fascinated humankind's imagination since the dawn of exploration. But online over-saturation has unfortunately caused these freaky freaky freaks to lose some of their luster. Who cares about the millionth picture of a dragonfish?

Well, we used to. So, in the interest of reviving your fascination with creepy crawly deep sea denizens, Urlesque has compiled the top five sea monsters. These are the absolute crème-de-la-crème of oceanic terror!

5. Dana Octopus Squid

Squids might look cuddly, but beneath their rubbery exteriors and big friendly eyes lie chitinous beaks capable of tearing prey into teeny digestible pieces. The Dana Octopus Squid (taningia danae) ups the ante with flashing photopores that cover its powerful tentacles. The squids use these to temporarily blind prey before settling in for the kill. Oh, and the largest known specimen weighed 135 lbs. Yeah, go ahead and cancel that seaside vacation.




4. Oarfish

Oarfish are probably the literal inspiration for sea serpent myths. The largest can grow up to 36 feet long. They give off electric shocks when touched. Okay, fine, they have no teeth, but are you willing to take your chances with one of these?!




3. Frilled Shark

Awww, a frilled shark? Really? It's pretty like a pretty pretty princess, right? WRONG!! We're talking about a needle-toothed killing machine that feasts on the flesh of other sharks. The Frilled Shark (chlamydoselachus anguineus) is so badass that it has survived since pre-historic times.




2. Barreleye Fish

Where are your eyes located? Oh, on the outside of your face, huh? That's fine, I guess. Where are the Barreleye Fish's eyes located? On the inside of their freaking translucent head!!! Look, these fish don't pose us any threat...yet. But I'm glad that I won't be around in a million years when they've evolved into land-dwelling killing machines that can't be defeated because their eyes are safely ensconced in translucent mecha head-shields.




1. Tongue Eating Louse

The Tongue Eating Louse (cymothoa exigua) eats tongues. Got that? It wriggles through a fish's gills, bites into the tongue and sucks blood until the tongue dies. What happens then? The louse attaches to the leftover muscle stump and it becomes the fish's new tongue. Yeesh. Game over. Shut it down. Shut it all down.