HI, I'M BRANSTON ANISTON. WITH VIDEOS FROM THE TED PILLMAN VAULTS, JUST LIKE ELVIS!

I UPLOAD THE OLD, RANCID, AND SMELLY, DIRTY, OBNOXIOUS TED PILLMAN. HE'S CONTROVERSIAL, AND REPULSIVE AND TOTALLY OFF THE WALL.

OTHER DESCRIPTIONS: VILE, ATROCIOUS, BRAZEN and UNCOOTH. [sic]


This guy. THIS guy.

Branston Aniston is, without fail, one of the most blood-curdling results of the whole do-whatever-you-want attitude of the internet. Like, whatever goes on in his videos -- farts and filth and death -- is like what Halloween would be if Halloween were actually scary.

Plus, the turtleneck, alone, is enough to make someone smell burnt toast.