Did you know that everybody on the Internet is famous? Fame, at least according to anybody with at least a modem, is the ultimate goal -- that golden opportunity for everyone to know you, worship you, and/or want to be you. In fact, that's why the Internet and reality television go together like VH1 and STD's: because any modicum of recognition is just enough to validate one's existence as being "important" or "interesting," a process as equally crucial to a Rock Of Love contestant as it is to an attention-hungry vlogger.

Truthfully, no method makes it easier to broadcast the minutae of one's life quite like the Internet, thanks to Twitter, Facebook, and -- duh -- YouTube. Any dummy with a webcam and misdirected aspiration to make it onto a reality TV show can take to the ubiquitous video sharing site to circulate his dreams to the masses, often with disastrous results. Examples below:

Who: Yamil Planas
Planas is "very adventurous" and "very, very motivated," although you wouldn't necessarily be able to tell by the aspiring Top Model's sobering monotone and Mariah-like acting skills.


Who: John Matland
He's an actor. And a writer. And a model. And he takes x-rays and cat scans? Ah, such is the life of the young, gifted, and beautiful. Inspired to audition for The Real World after being confined to a comforter post-tonsil removal, the multi-hyphenated John promises to "make it rain," which in D'bag slang means "pollute your brain."



Who: Naomi Monroe aka Drroxxette
Monroe wants to "share [her] talent with the world," her talent, of course, being that she's "a bitch" who "isn't afraid of color" and "is not here to make friends." ...So hire her? For that??? (P.S. "YouTube Next Top Guru" is not real, Naomi. It's not a thing.) Our apologies to Naomi, who is actually parodying reality show contestants and wannabes. We admit laziness and ignorance on our part in not doing our research, and should also add that damn, she's good.



Who: Darrelldoesitall
Darrell is such a good singer that someone on the street told him so! And nobody knows talent like some dude on the street. That dude's a regular Quincy Jones... on the street! While Darrell may not be ready to "show you who [he] 'really' is," you can figure that out when you see him on America's Got Demons.



Who: Ava Levy
So, is The Real World being branded as The Nanny, Part II? Because Ava Levy is Fran Drescher in Uggs. (Ed. note: Ava proves why growing up on Long Island is traumatic for anybody who breaks out at the thought of body shots or solid gold nameplates.)



Who: Dave Alburger
 Okay, so maybe Dave doesn't realize that Who Wants To Be A Millionaire isn't a reality show. And that auditions are held in person. And that lip syncing a Barenaked Ladies won't make you rich. But it's all good: dude points out how awesome his own mustache is, and he's not even being ironic <3 <3 <3



Who: Chad
Sure, the "voice" this kid puts on might be mildly offensive to some, but it's the "t*tties" bomb that seals the deal for us. YOU'RE HIRED!