We love eBay. Where else can you find things that you probably don't need, but are absolutely necessary for purchase?

While the auction may have ended, showcasing an auction this important, timely, and relevant is... well, it's important. Because following the recent passing of King of Pop Michael Jackson, the media went into a tailspin (one that continues, naturally), but all news outlets seem to have bypassed something the Urlesque team considers crucial to the death of a superstar: half-eaten food.

(And, yes, friends, here is some top-notch IN-HOUSE Photoshop skillage!)

michael jackson pickle

michael jackson pickle
This is a pickle that was bitten off of 6 days before M.J's death!!

Now, this is awesome and stuff, but get back to us when you start collecting LaToya's burrito droppings off the floor of Chipotle. That's more our style.

(But 4 serious, R.I.P. M.J.)