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FDR famously said "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." He must have never come face to face with Maury Povich's mummified cotton ball monster. It was nice of Maury and Connie to finally let this guy out of their marital bathroom.


  • Surely FDR never took a Maury-sponsored tour of the Patterson Pickle Factory. We thought Connie was the only one allowed on those.




  • To think we thought the scary thing about the South was the racism. Turns out it's the peaches.


  • Balloons - Now even scarier than clowns.


  • A man gets resurrected and he gains 2 billion followers. A raw chicken comes back to life and all he gets is this crazy b****.


  • Some people love the fishes cuz they're so delicious. Others fear them like the plague.


  • She's afraid of Jell-O and the way it jiggles. I respect that, which is why I'm going to refrain from asking whether she also runs for the hills when she sees herself with her shirt off.


  • And finally, this video kills two birds with one stone. One bird, actually. The other woman is afraid of mustard.