- 6.04.09 - 9:00AM
- - by
- Eliot Glazer
Today in eBay - My Remaining Birthdays (Sad Face)
- Today in eBay
We love eBay. Where else can you find things that you probably don't need, but are absolutely necessary for purchase?
For the record, here's the most unbearably depressing "item" we've ever found on eBay. Bidding starts at $50,000 to win ...sigh...the remaining birthdays of someone who no longer has "use" for them.
Send in the clouds...
I have decided to no longer celebrate my birthday. You want 'em? You got 'em.
I am hoping this will be my fountain of youth and the end to body aches, grey hair, and gravity affecting certain areas of my body.
I figure, I am already old enough to drink, vote, join the army, and play the lottery. The way work is going, I am never going to be able to retire and Social Security is drying up, so I won't benefit from that either.
So, i no longer have use for my remaining birthdays. Enjoy them. Give yourself TWO days a year to celebrate. Two days of gifts, free shots at the bar, free lunches and so on.
No returns or refunds, sorry, I don't want them back.
So, exactly how old are you, swing1swing? Because we'd not only prefer it if you kept your birthday, but if we could throw you a party with, say, bunnies opening your birthday cards or a golden retrievers drinking club soda, wouldn't you be game?
Let's just take this auction out into the back of the Internet yard and kill it, okay? You're too good for this, swing1swing. Urlesque thinks you just need more cute in your life.
And birthday cake. There's never enough birthday cake.
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