Come April, items of interest from Michael Jackson's "private collection" at Neverland Ranch will be put up for auction. With over 2,000 pieces up for grabs, we figured there would be plenty of people in your life deserved of gifts straight from the House of Jacko. Here are our recommendations:

• A "robotic Michael Jackson head" circa Moonwalker that also opens, somehow becoming significantly more horrifying. For the child who doesn't suffer from night terrors, nothing could be better. Going price: $2,000-$3,000

• A painting featuring iconic figures wearing Michael Jackson's trademark sunglasses and glove. Perfect for anybody who hates icons. Going price: $1,000-$2,000

• A hanging swing featuring scenic wild animal panels and elaborate carvings. Great for being really bored. Going price: $1,200-$1,800

• A flight simulation arcade game with safety barrier and attendant station. Every house needs one, especially houses occupied by eccentric pop stars and the random kids who sleep over and drink Jesus Juice. Going price: $4,000-$6,000

• Michael Jackson's Triumph-era socks, circa 1981, with uppers covered in rhinestone banding. Excellent for mentally ill joggers. Going price: $600-$800

• link:// The Guardian
• photos:// Shaan Kokin/Julien's Auctions