Stars aren't "just like us." They've got cash and a posse of enablers to bring their every whim to life. That used to mean silly vanity brands, like perfume lines and production companies, but in the late-aughts, it means web startups. From YouTube imitators to their very own social networks, some are Newman's Own-level classy, some are just Jeff Foxworthy's Beef Jerky-tacky. Here are most notable celebrity dot-com startups out there:
Lifestyle Sites:
- GOOP (Gwyneth Paltrow): Gwynnie's oft-mocked newsletter features her recommendations on things to buy and places to visit, always prefaced by the actress's rambling musings on life. I didn't know there was so much spiritual subtext in Crème de la Mer.
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BlahGirls (Ashton Kutcher): Kutcher's been doing his best Julia Allison lately: hitting events with the 2.0 elite, befriending Digg founder Kevin Rose at Sundance, and Tweeting up a storm (he even persuaded the Mrs. to join). All to promote an unlikely startup project: a celebrity gossip blog/vlog written and hosted by cartoon girls, which was somehow chosen for last year's TechCrunch 50. And you wonder why people spit in your face, Michael Arrington.
Multimedia Endeavors:
- Acceptable.tv (Jack Black): The sketch comedy network lets viewers create their own 3-minute shows with regular installments and vote for their favorites. Some are sort of funny, but when it came time to pick our favorite we voted for Jack Black's tutorial:
- Dance Jam (MC Hammer): The dance site lets users post their own choreography or interpretations of someone else's. Hammer himself posts videos shouting out the most popular entries and schooling young dancers:
Plugged In (Will Smith): Not to be confused with Christian entertainment guide Plugged In Online, this shiny Will Smith-financed music video network lets users vote on their favorites, find new music and discover new artists. We just can't stop admiring his profile picture (right).
- Honorable Mentions: Will Ferrell and Adam McKay's sketch comedy site that you've already heard of - Funny or Die; Peter Gabriel's music, movie and web video-recommending The Filter; Ludacris's WeMix lets users listen to, remix and vote for their favorite songs; Ice Cube and DJ Pooh's UVNTV professes to be the next big thing in Web TV but is only visible for users with Microsoft Silverlight and will therefore fail; Tony Hawk's Shred or Die is like MySpace for extreme sports fans; and to remind the world that he single-handedly got Obama into the White House, will.i.am created the YouTube alternative Dip Dive.
Social Networks:
- Café Mom (Andrew Shue): Yes, this absolutely makes sense. Andrew Shue founded a successful blog network for mothers. Every time I watch a Melrose Place rerun on SoapNet, I think "You know who should give Mommy Bloggers a platform for their philosophies on infant sign language classes? Billy Campbell."
- U Pump it Up (Mandy Moore): Moore teamed up with sugar water purveyor Crystal Light and a few other women of dubious professional successes for a feel-good ladies' social network. The copy is impossibly sunny and reads like a back issue of Good Housekeeping ("are you an Autumn or a Winter?").
- I Beat You (Baron Davis & Cash Warren): Davis, player of pro basketball, and Warren, purse-holder of Jessica Alba, teamed up for this social site that focuses on extremely vague "competitions" in which users vie for the title of "Best jaw line" and "Best made-up action movie one liner." No, thank you. Let's just watch Jessica Alba's vlog (she has bangs now, it's pretty exciting):
- HoffSpace (David Hasselhoff): The Hoff further exploits his ironic celebrity with a "social network" that's not so much a threat to Facebook as it is a repository for his vlog entries that don't match the Floor Hamburger Chronicles.
- Honorable Mentions: Australian national treasure Kylie Minogue has her own network that orbits around her called Kylie Konnect. 50 Cent's This is 50 is like MySpace if every MySpace member was forced to use the same hideous theme. Olympian Bode Miller founded Ski Space for users to share videos from the slopes and to plug his potato chip endorsement deal.
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