We love eBay. Where else can you find things that you probably don't need, but are absolutely necessary for purchase?

We learned about chastity belts for women when we saw Robin Hood: Men In Tights, but, did you know they have the equivalent FOR DUDES? Look, it's the CB-6000, a wood-grain penis protector, replete with lock and key!

This is a new, flat design that is even more comfortable and even less noticeable than the previous popular models.

The hinge has been eliminated from the rings, yet it is designed to open up for ease of use.

Comes with an embossed CB-6000 zipper pouch.

Plus, Arizona-based merchant lockeduplove is also looking out for your best interest. In fact, he warns against the "cheap knockoffs" floating around eBay, and is more than willing to dispense advice regarding the product, considering his "personal experience with all the products."

Good to know, lockeduplove. Good to know.