Local television and public access have proven time and time again to serve us nuggets of cultural gold -- videos we will forever hold close to our collective conscious.

Somewhere in Queens, New York, a show called ...wait for it... "Goddesses" featured guests Ellen, a middle-aged rotund lady and her lover, Donald.

  • First, Ellen sings about being fat and sexy.

  • Then Donald takes the stage to perform his own "erotic hip hop."

You're welcome.