Superheroes making '70s mall appearances and the children they touch in pictures -- a picture gallery from my dreams. I love superheroes, loathe malls and am largely indifferent to the '70s but put them all together and you get vintage greatness today.

  • Is that really Spiderman with a gold medallion? Oh God, OH GOD THANK YOU it is.

  • And Darth Vader choking a little boy?

  • And the Hulk looking inappropriately sexy?

  • And the Hulk looking appropriately goofy?

  • Ditto for Robin. That little girl is exercising remarkable restraint. She is desperately trying NOT to give The Boy Goober a wedgie.

  • I have never been more envious of a child in my life.