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With the buzz surrounding pubic hair dye Betty Beauty, we were reminded of the phenomenon of merkins, or "pubic toupees." Prevalent in the 18th century, merkins were worn after one contracted a sexually transmitted disease, which often resulted in the loss of one's "hair down there."

While we could easily point you to some of the hottest merkins on the web, we're instead going to take the SFW-friendly route instead, providing you with items that could be merkins...but are not.

  • Does Spencer's Gifts accept returns?
  • Sure, Sonic's a cute li'l hedgehog, but, lady, you're still going to want to wash your hands...twice.
  • Bet you wouldn't have guessed a tree would make this list before a bush.
  • Does that camera come with night vision?
  • This creepy felt bag might be more embarassing to tote around than a sign that says "I'm wearing a pubic wig."
  • The merkin crab (for real) fits seamless inside a fly box...*cough*

  • Hannah Montana's pop, Billy Ray Cyrus, has been at the forefront of celebrity hairstyle since his mullet-tail days, and his current flat-ironed and highlighted do is no different when it comes to providing inspiration for what could easily be a stunning genital toupee.