Just For Men, the product that helps so many men anxious cover up the gray clouds that rain on their facial hair parade, is sponsoring The American Mustache Institute's first ever presentation of The Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year Award.

The fate of sixteen "qualified" nominees is in your hands, and we at Urlesque believe there are certain standouts among the crowd whom we want to bring to your attention (although, if it were up to us, we'd have already crowned a certain bearded lady):

SGT. Jon Alvarez is a proud Mustached American, and grew his mustache because his job requires him to go out to villages in and around Baghdad to meet Iraqis. Most men there wear thick, rich mustaches, so Jon's mustache will allow him to better-relate to Iraqi men in order to better do his job. He believes his mustache is a "mustache for the cause."

When Robert "Gar" Garfield enters a bar, heads turn, and whispers abound: "Hey, is that...?" And even when they realize he's not the ghost of Robert Goulet, or even the King Of Comedy, Rupert Pumpkin, they still have to come over and tell him about his uncanny resemblance to Goulet.

See more contenders after the jump!
Goose Gossage was the lone inductee into the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame in 2008, and unlike Mark Spitz, he has remained consistent and committed to the mustache, choosing to not destroy the magic of his face by shaving his mustache after his most famous years were behind him.

Don, who passed away in 2008, was the narrator for 99.3 percent of all movie trailers ever made, and even made the film "Bird On A Wire" sound like one of the greatest movies ever. Everyone knew his voice, but nobody knows his name. It's time to make him famous.

Tim Galvin is tough. In his teens, after being notified of sharks in a river, he proceeded to jump in where his leg was bitten by a shark. A former college football player, as a young cop in New York, he was known to informants and criminals simply as "'Stache," as he wore handlebars at that time. He was forced into early retirement after being shot in the face and in the upper leg while arresting a criminal. The Irishman has played the bagpipes for about 15 years now and is as Irish as they come, and everywhere he goes, he wears his respect-demanding full mustache.

Tim Galvin's story involves shark bites, a cop nicknamed "'Stache," being shot in the face and bagpipes. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.