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People talk a lot about how much responsibility is required to properly care for a pet, but I really can't imagine that much care and effort goes into owning one of these bite-size monkeys.*

  • "Oh man, I need to feed my tiny monkey. Let me get him a quarter of a single noodle. It's about half of the size of his entire body. He'll be set for a week."



  • "The doctor says we're having twins but I have no idea how we're going to handle that type of extra expense. I'm so stressed. Wait, is that a penny on the ground? It is a penny. Financial problem solved!"

  • Good schools can be so expensive. Luckily all this marmoset needs to look like a genius is a finger to lean on.


  • "Eddie Murphy dropped out of Shrek Four?! What a tragedy for the Shrek franchise. If only we could find someone similar to replace him..."

*In no way do I endorse or condone purchasing a monkey or obtaining one through other means. I think it would be a terrible idea. Don't do it.