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Ever since Christian Bale allegedly assaulted his mother, I've been on a hunt for a Batman I can believe in, and I finally think I've found him: This is David:



He's a "Nuisance Wildlife Control Operator" who maintains a "wildlife removal blog", where he writes about "giant bat colonies in attics":

I have successfully removed the entire group, sealed the building (with guarantee) against any future bat entry, and most importantly, removed all the guano from the attic, and decontaminated and deodorized the entire area. No more noise, no more smell. I do have to say though, the walls inside the attic look somewhat boring not covered with two thousand scurrying, chattering bats.
But my favorite thing about his blog is his bat photography section. His captions are deadpan genius:


The fact that David can get away with posting the pic below with the caption: "I'm not hurting it, it's just alarmed," without at all seeming creepy is a testament to his eccentric charm.



Like there's no way David is ever going batty on his mommy in a way that would make her fear for her safety and dial up the town sheriff. Not to say that he hasn't tried sleeping upside down, but after you spend some time on his blog, I'm sure you'll be just as prepared as I am to laugh such weirdness off as a "typical Dave move."



Oh that Dave.