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We here at Urlesque know it's not always easy finding a lay. Well some of us (ahem). But you know who really doesn't have a lot of options? Prisoners. You know how to get access to prisoners? Prison PenPal sites.

But hold on. Not all PrizPenPal sites ensure the booty. Some seem to just wanna talk. To guarantee that you don't waste your time on those lame-os, we've compiled a list of the eight PrizPal sites most likely to lead to conjugal bliss.

1. Meet an Inmate

  • Priz Pen-Up Who'll Get You Droolin': Sheri Franklynn who looks a LOT like Rihanna, oddly enough.
  • Bliss Factor: Epic. 'Meet an Inmate' doesn't offer just any ol' prisoner. They offer you "lonely and attractive inmates" from across the US. These prisoners look wide-eyed and hungry for your loving, and not all that murderous.
  • Flaccidity Capacity: It's there, but only if you find caged desperation a turn-off. "These inmates are very real and seeking you! Why not give it a try? Make the day of a lonely inmate!"

2. Prisoner Life
  • Priz Pen-Up Who'll Get You Droolin': NICKOLAS aka Nick
  • Bliss Factor: Guaranteed, if you follow the extensive rules in the tips/ DOWNER section. "Avoid sharing too much information about yourself?" 'Prisoner Life,' don't tell me what to do! Still, this is one of the more user friendly sites. The "search by prison" option is especially handy for anybody looking for an inmate a little too close to home.
  • Flaccidity Capacity: Also guaranteed, if you start swooning for anybody in the death row galleries.

And don't stop swooning now! We got six more PrizPal sites to go!